Sevda Khatamian | Lazy Letter
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Lazy Letter: My Parallel Universe

It’s hard to catch on from time to time. It’s happening all so fast, and to be honest, I’m way too distracted to keep track. Pretty sure I’m taking it all for granted, this stress has made me blind. Sometimes I forget life is basically all about these moments. Or perhaps I’m living too many of them at the same time.

I promised I’d write more, but sometimes I don’t really feel like holding a pen in hand, or putting down my thoughts on a piece of paper. What would I say anyway?! Write to you all about my complaints, what a busy life I have with nothing in the nothing land?!READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Hey, Hey

Woke up to the sound of simit seller man. He must’ve been in one of the alleys nearby. “Hey, hey” he was shouting out loud, although everyone knows “simit, simit” is what he’s saying. Or sometimes just a very long “hey” is what you might hear. It must be a part of their deal that they all disappear after ten in the morning. You don’t really hear them after.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Another Nap

I couldn’t remember the dream I woke up from. Couldn’t really remember how I fell asleep. I needed another nap before the sun was up– soon the beach would be too sunny to sleep. My watch read six o’clock sharp. The sky was lit up, but not completely, I could still see a star. The brightest one. I took a good look at the sky all around me. I wondered where the sun would rise up from. For a second, I lost my sense of direction. It was only my first night, and the beach was going to be my bed for the next seven days. Good to know the neighborhood! I remembered that last night the moon vanished right in front of me slightly above the horizon. I remembered its glow on the restless sea; only a couple days away from the full moon. And so the sun would rise up from the mountain behind, now that I was calculating. Only a touch of yellow light was visible from behind the tree. The mountains were quiet, standing tall from three different directions, holding their arms around one another and protecting this gorgeous valley. And a little bit blue from the night before, although they’re all covered in green. Nature is powerful, it almost speaks to you. The sun takes its time to rise up, and for some reason, early hours of the day last longer. I figured there will be more than enough time for a good nap.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Home is not home anymore

Things are going well on my end. How are you?! The idea of traveling is starting to grow on me, feels like I can run it my whole life. There are many ups and downs to it, but can’t really complain when I have all the freedom I want. Dealing with visa is the most difficult one, the most annoying one and the most tiring one. But what can I say?! It’s probably just the way of it.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Hospital Again

 I went to the hospital this afternoon. I had a hard time getting up. I actually woke up really early. Around seven or eight. We hung out in a friend’s apartment the night before. I remember at some point we started shooting tequila. It was only the morning light that reminded how far we’ve got, and what the hangover would be all about. The party ended around four in the morning. I’d promised myself to walk back home no matter how late, but in the end, I was so trashed that I couldn’t keep my eyes open. My legs were hurting, my bones were in pain. I was already so tired from the night before. I had traveled, and my bag was heavy. Crashing on the couch seemed to be the best idea.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: The Post Office

 P.S. Seems like it’s turned into a routine now; I visit every post office in the neighborhood I reside. I sometimes find myself writing to more people than I actually have physical contacts with. Traveling long-term had another aspect that I would have never anticipated; loneliness, and there’s no getting away from it. Is it sad that I’m getting used to it?! My mother believes so. “You’ve been living alone for too long” she complained the other day. I’m mostly surrounded by friends and magnificent people, but guess she’s right, I really am alone. I try to contribute more as long as I’m staying with my family. I just got off the phone with her, asked her where the post office was. I couldn’t remember, although I’ve lived in this neighborhood all throughout my childhood and teenage life. Funny how I also wrote letters back then. And how I’m back to this fine habit again?! Who’s to tell? What was I influenced by? Or do I do this simply because it feels right?! Because I’m lonely? It’s rather old-fashioned, I must admit, it drags me back in time. Around the twenties perhaps. A bit terrifying when it comes to filling the address at the back of the envelope. What if I make a mistake?! I’m so good at making mistakes!READ MORE

Lazy Letter: The First Time They Purr

 It somehow reminded me of the night where I was sitting at the bar alone. Sipping water, I was trying to avoid beer or any other alcoholic beverage as long as I could. I was drinking rather more frequently back then, and it didn’t have a pleasant effect on my body. It’s one of those habits I dislike the most, yet can’t really keep away; I’m tricked by the evil power of alcohol every time. The only help it does is that it passes by the time more happily once everybody’s consumed a good amount of drinks. Well, for most of the times, most of the times.

You must’ve been busy with something or one of your friends, you weren’t at the bar, so you didn’t realize when that drunk girl sat next to me. She was half drunk, she said she’d just thrown up. She ordered a beer, and asked me to go dancing with them. But there was zero alcohol in my system at the moment, and I was too chilled to move my person. READ MORE

Lazy Letter: The Soup

We were on our way back home, to the village, and Marzi was behind the wheel. The plan was to get back home before it got dark, but the sun had already set about an hour ago. My grandma recommended this thermal pool near by, three hours away. So we decided to take a daytrip, enjoy the landscape and relax in the hot pool. It was the perfect idea, and the views were priceless. Mom was taking the backseat.

We weren’t hungry, it must’ve been for the weather, and that we were surrounded by new tastes and smells. I had an urgent craving for Ash-e Dugh. It’s some type of traditional soup with wheat and chick peas and yogurt drink. You can add meat if you want to, and some garlic for taste, but I’m not sure which green herbs they put in; I need to ask my mom some day. We should’ve traveled all the way to Astara to have a bowl of the real deal; I once ate this soup there when I was very young; can still taste its sourness in my mouth. We couldn’t travel to Astara, but lucky for us, this neighboring town also had a reputation for its hearty Ash-e Dugh. We took a half tour around the town to see if we could find any restaurants, or some kind of buffet which served the soup. There was none, and it was late enough to make us give up. We’ll have it another time, another day, we promised ourselves, although there was a chance it might never happen again.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Tough Life

I have already sent you text messages, and have fully updated you with the flood of bad news on my end. But I thought I write all about it anyway. I’m not even sure if you receive any of my letters anymore. Lots of thoughts have been running through my mind, and I’ve been disgusted for so many times. No wonder why my concentration level has dropped down to almost zero.

I’m still in here in town, and there’s no trace of much-expected visa. This is ridiculous, knowing that the program starts tomorrow, and my passport is still empty. I can’t leave, time is dropping me behind. I’m now so far away from the reality I envisioned for myself. Feels like I’m trapped, although I’m still the most liberate person I know. I was walking to the embassy this morning, to see if they could change the date of my appointment. They said over the email that the next available date isn’t until six weeks later. Isn’t that ridiculous?! The woman also said that it’s my fault if I don’t have the visa by now. You should’ve come with your documents ready, she said. I couldn’t complain how uncooperative she was, why she didn’t accept some of my documents in the first place, and that she could’ve registered my application in their system while I gathered up the papers she asked for. She could’ve told me to come back tomorrow instead of making me arrange another appointment. I think a part of me was scared of her. She works at the embassy, after all, she has the power to do almost anything at the moment.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Thunderstorm

The rain was so mad, we had no other choice but to run. We were on our way home. It was pouring on us. It started mad and lasted long, even an hour after we got home. Hard to believe it was happening. How long did it take us to reach home, I wonder. Rather early in the morning, people were on their way to work, the day has just started. Only a bit floody and rainy and thunderstormy. The rain was now feeling brutal.READ MORE