Lazy Letter: The Promised Sunrise
I chose to take one of those shared rides again. Not only because it’s cheaper, but also it’s an easier way of traveling. I met with the driver downtown, I was supposed to trust him even though I don’t know him at all. He was waiting for me with the other passengers. It was a full ride. I had to take the front seat since the other passengers were men. I like taking the front seat, you know that, but at the moment, all I needed was a long nap; you’re not really supposed to sleep when you take the co-pilot seat. It’s one of those unwritten rules that everyone knows about. I don’t think my brain was capable to comprehend any rules, written or unwritten. So I slowly shut my eyes without letting anyone take notice. I needed some sleep. Although, I kept waking up in between, and I checked the digital clock on the dashboard every time. I was curious to know how long I was sleeping for, and how long each nap lasted, however, I wouldn’t be able to tell the time that the clock was exactly reading. The world doesn’t seem real when you’re struggling to keep awake, when you’re that tired. The numbers didn’t seem to change, as if the time was frozen. Either my naps were incredibly short, or my brain was caught up in an enormous illusion.
It was around four when I was finally able to keep my eyes open; time to quit napping. We were about to arrive; we’d passed the lake a while ago. I looked at the sky to see the crack of the dawn. Not sure when the sun rises at this time of the year. We were surrounded by factories and industrial laboratories, and their lights were polluting the sky just so perfectly. Orange, white and all shades of yellow. A heavy morning mist was spreading the light all over. Rather mysterious, I’d say, felt like we were in the middle of a book. Looked like one of those optical illusions where I kept staring at the clouds looking for the sunrise, and every time I thought I got it, it’d turn out it was just another light from another factory in the distance.
I requested for this ride with great excitement since according to my calculations I’d certainly be able to catch the sunrise. I was so happy about it. The vision of that sunrise I once saw in the mountains as I was sleeping my way to the city on the bus never left my mind. What time of the year was that?! Probably early spring, or late winter–I still had my jacket with me. We’d passed those mountains about two hours before, and it’s no spring this time.
Later as we took a short break, and asked if he could stop by at the gas station for restroom or coffee, I realized we were so remote from the sunrise; we were headed west. And that one time, that one magical time that I was mesmerized by the sun and the clouds and the forest, I was on my way back.
19. Sep – Istanbul, Turkey