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Lazy Letter: Snowing Ash

It was still dark when I finally woke up. I didn’t sleep well throughout the night, woke up with every little sound. We had to sleep at the volunteers’ house since we decided it was safer for the night. We have no car at the studio, how would we get away if the fire reached us?! Who would come and rescue us? So, we each found a bed to rest, and waited for the morning to reach us, maybe it would make things look better–I picked the small couch, RJ slept on the floor by the terrace door and the cold fireplace.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: To September

I uncomfortably sat in the corner of the couch which was chewed up by an animal from the sides. I already knew that he keeps pets and he fights for animal rights, but what kind of animal would he bring home to destroy a couch like that?! I scanned the room quickly to know what goes on around, and what I got myself into. Perhaps a bit too late, I really don’t know that kid. I met him at the beach during my trip to the south, hung out with him a few more times while I was there. There was no reason for me to trust him, I wonder why I went to his two-bedroom apartment anyway. To be perfectly honest with you, I didn’t make any plans for that night; it was one of those nights. Just like the old times when I was younger, not to say that I’m old now, I just felt I was back at the school again when I had the energy to be adventurous. I’m still as carefree, and ironically enough, just as alone too. Maybe it’s for the weather, and that autumn is just around the corner–it smells like school anyway.READ MORE

City Lights

Overlooking the still horizon of the city, I caught the twinkling light of an airplane in the night sky. We could see the city from the window, almost all of it. It had grown so much so fast in the past few years, and it’s still growing. Unfortunate to see how it lost its charm, perhaps the mayor should’ve planned better–it’s not just about the shopping malls and enormous clocks in the roundabouts.

The city was sparkling in orange, yellow, green and red neon lights. And some blues too. We had wondered where the airport was when we first watched the view from this window, tried to find it by the spots we knew, or the buildings we could recognize from the distance, the north and the south, and where the sun would set. The answer was way simpler than that. We just should’ve followed an airplane.

Summer Raindrops

Hot and humid, sometimes the wind stops blowing. Surrounded by the steam in the air, the extreme humidity makes it feel like a rain cloud around your body. A personal small cloud all around you. Smells like a melancholic Sunday afternoon. The microscopic drops of water touch your skin. The damp smell rises from the soil, the dusty earth. It’s familiar; somewhere back in time, in one of those rainy days, overwhelmed by the power of loneliness, the smell has gotten stuck in my system. I keep drinking cold water, and wiping off my wet skin with a piece of napkin. This must be the parallel universe of my recent imaginations. Or, in other words, how everything would be when I’m not around; this is the close-up scene. My hands are on the wheel, and my eyes locked on the road, although, I’m not fully in control of the ride that I’m driving.

20.Sep.17 – Istanbul, Turkey

Lazy Letter: The Promised Sunrise

I chose to take one of those shared rides again. Not only because it’s cheaper, but also it’s an easier way of traveling. I met with the driver downtown, I was supposed to trust him even though I don’t know him at all. He was waiting for me with the other passengers. It was a full ride. I had to take the front seat since the other passengers were men. I like taking the front seat, you know that, but at the moment, all I needed was a long nap; you’re not really supposed to sleep when you take the co-pilot seat. It’s one of those unwritten rules that everyone knows about. I don’t think my brain was capable to comprehend any rules, written or unwritten. So I slowly shut my eyes without letting anyone take notice. I needed some sleep. Although, I kept waking up in between, and I checked the digital clock on the dashboard every time. I was curious to know how long I was sleeping for, and how long each nap lasted, however, I wouldn’t be able to tell the time that the clock was exactly reading. The world doesn’t seem real when you’re struggling to keep awake, when you’re that tired. The numbers didn’t seem to change, as if the time was frozen. Either my naps were incredibly short, or my brain was caught up in an enormous illusion.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: My Parallel Universe

It’s hard to catch on from time to time. It’s happening all so fast, and to be honest, I’m way too distracted to keep track. Pretty sure I’m taking it all for granted, this stress has made me blind. Sometimes I forget life is basically all about these moments. Or perhaps I’m living too many of them at the same time.

I promised I’d write more, but sometimes I don’t really feel like holding a pen in hand, or putting down my thoughts on a piece of paper. What would I say anyway?! Write to you all about my complaints, what a busy life I have with nothing in the nothing land?!READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Hey, Hey

Woke up to the sound of simit seller man. He must’ve been in one of the alleys nearby. “Hey, hey” he was shouting out loud, although everyone knows “simit, simit” is what he’s saying. Or sometimes just a very long “hey” is what you might hear. It must be a part of their deal that they all disappear after ten in the morning. You don’t really hear them after.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Another Nap

I couldn’t remember the dream I woke up from. Couldn’t really remember how I fell asleep. I needed another nap before the sun was up– soon the beach would be too sunny to sleep. My watch read six o’clock sharp. The sky was lit up, but not completely, I could still see a star. The brightest one. I took a good look at the sky all around me. I wondered where the sun would rise up from. For a second, I lost my sense of direction. It was only my first night, and the beach was going to be my bed for the next seven days. Good to know the neighborhood! I remembered that last night the moon vanished right in front of me slightly above the horizon. I remembered its glow on the restless sea; only a couple days away from the full moon. And so the sun would rise up from the mountain behind, now that I was calculating. Only a touch of yellow light was visible from behind the tree. The mountains were quiet, standing tall from three different directions, holding their arms around one another and protecting this gorgeous valley. And a little bit blue from the night before, although they’re all covered in green. Nature is powerful, it almost speaks to you. The sun takes its time to rise up, and for some reason, early hours of the day last longer. I figured there will be more than enough time for a good nap.READ MORE

Lazy Letter: Home is not home anymore

Things are going well on my end. How are you?! The idea of traveling is starting to grow on me, feels like I can run it my whole life. There are many ups and downs to it, but can’t really complain when I have all the freedom I want. Dealing with visa is the most difficult one, the most annoying one and the most tiring one. But what can I say?! It’s probably just the way of it.READ MORE